what are the proper procedures that i should follow for me to get married the right way. I am a mighty women aged 25 and would like to do things the right way in the house of the lord. i would like to know form starting a relationship, courtship to marriage. Your help and advice saintsis greatly needed at this moment in time!!
I would say you should seek advice from you Pastor. Get him involved all the way, don't make the mistake some others made by letting their Pastor know after they had already accepted a relationship or marriage proposal. Believe me, when it comes to spiritual matters you can not know more than the Prophet God has sent to guide you in life because they have been equipped for the work.
I would say you have taken a very wise step... to find out what is the proper thing to do. The word of God is always there to guide us, but you have to personally ask God to direct you. You must not do anything without the counsel of your pastor... pray, listen to him or her, take their advice and prosper maritally..
The first step is that you must take heed that do not be yoked with an un believer.So you must ensure that the person you build a friendship with belongs to the family of God.This will ensure that your relationship has fear of God and helps in dealing with purity issues before the actual marriage. You must develop a friendship first with different people in th fellowship.When you get to point where you feel lthere is a particular person you get along with seek advise from mature Christians , Spiritual friends and your Church leadership.If you have prayer partner they are the first to know and you pray about it.
Depending on cultures after you are satisfied you like the person if you are the brother you can then propose to them to be your girlfriend.If you are a sister you exercise patience the fruit of the spirit till the brother initiates.When you start dating ensure you grow your friendship and get to know each other well you interst and values.Its encouraged to know your HIV status to protect your loved.This is not to say only negative people should marry but for you to count the cost of getting into the relationship well and to get correct counsel on how to proceed.
When both of you are ready you can proceed to get engaged.At this point your Pastor must be involved and so are marriage counsellors in the church to guide you.Therafter you can do the traditional marriage which is paying the bride pride if its applicable in your culture:The time frame depends on you .Once the union is acceptable to your parents you can proceed to get into Holy Matrimony through your Pastor.It is highly recommended to have a shorter period between engagement and actual marriage to safeguard on purity issues.Remember during this whole period you are keeping a pure relationship where you can only hold hands and give pure hugs and nothing more.
The most important thing to do in whole process is to pray to God for him to make things clearer to you and help you to mature and to be committed to loving the next person regardless of their weakness in as much as you have yours too.
It is important to note that the bible does not talk of dating but starts at engagement to marriage.So when the relationship gets at engagement stage more counsel is required from Pastors , elders and marriage counselors.
Hope the input helps you in some way.