Akin's' father accompanied him to his school end of the year award party. As they sat watching and amidst great shouts and loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for their award presentation.
The following conversation ensued:
Announcer: Best student in sciences...the winner is Nkem.
Father: (applause and eyes Akin scornfully) See correct children!
Announcer: Best student in commercial studies, the winner is Akpan.
Father: (hisses and eyes Akin) See correct children.
Announcer: Best student in the Arts and the winner is Ada.
...And so were all the award presented without any going to Akin. At the end of the show they left and went to the car park but as his dad made to start the car, the engine refused to respond. He opened the hood and touched a few things but all to no avail.
Then they resorted to pushing and just as they got to the exit of the school the pinto parked up. Exhausted and profusely sweating, Akin rested on the gate just as his mates were driving off with their parents in Hummer, BMW Convertible, Infinity, Escalade, Bentley, lincoln and other exotic cars.
All of a sudden, Akin burst into laughter. His puzzled father asked 'what's so funny?'
Amidst teary laughs Akin responded 'SEE CORRECT FATHERS!'.
A Professor at a lecture was explaining marketing concepts to a group of Students. His explanation went thus:
1 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising
3 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her Telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing
4 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations
5 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand Recognition
6 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hot slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback
7 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap
8 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share
9 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets
Three rats were arguing about "Who Get Swag Pass"
The first rat said, "I chop rat food with poison, I no die"
The second rat said, "I dance the chicken dance on top rat poison, notin do me"
The third rat looked at the two of them with disdain and laughed, when he was done laughing, he said,
"The two of you are real idiots, real mumu, mu-squared. You see that pregnant cat sleeping under the flower?
The other two cats nodded their head.
The third cat then replied: "She is pregnant for me"
The first and second cats fainted.
The following conversations took place between a teacher of English Language and her pupils in Ogborikoko Primary School Warri Delta State.
Teacher: Our topic for today is Question Tag. Example 1 is "You have a bag, haven’t you?" Example 2 is "He can't come, can he?" Now who can make a sentence using question tag?
One of the pupils named Chidi raised his hand and said
Chidi: “I ma”
“Go on” said the teacher,
Chidi: we go chop yam today chopn't we?
Teacher: what?? This is terrible! Who can correct that sentence??
Akpos then raised his hand and said “I ma”
“Go on” said the teacher, “Don’t mind this Chidi who knows nothing”
Akpos: |Aunty no mind dat yamhead! The correct answer na” We go chop yam today, yamn't we?